Jun
10
Coming back to the nest - 5 tips to make it a smooth transition

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Moving home after living on your own, no matter what your age, can be difficult. There are all kinds of changes you'll need to make, from downsizing your stuff to getting used to different rules and living with other people. Fortunately, there are some ways you can make the transition more smoothly. That way you can feel good about coming back to the nest for a few months or even a few years. Settling in and making sure you're happy with your new arrangement is definitely possible with the right discussion beforehand and a little bit of extra planning. Here are five ways you can make things easier.

1). Make Sure You Set Ground Rules

Coming back to the nest - ezstorit.com

Definitely talk with your parents about the ground rules everyone is going to follow. Those rules shouldn't all be for you, as they might have to change a few things, too. Privacy is a big area for discussion when adult children live with their parents. You're probably used to having privacy because you lived on your own. By coming back to the nest you may have to give up a little bit of that privacy, but that doesn't give your parents a right to snoop, either. Instead, set some rules early that everyone will agree to. You'll be fair to your parents, and you can still have your own space and things.

It's not just privacy that matters, either. You may need rules about chores, noise, groceries, laundry, and all sorts of other things. If you just move in and decide to "wing it," you and your parents could quickly find that you don't get along as well as you would have hoped. Most of that discord will come from not understanding what the other person needs, and not being comfortable with the new roles you've been asked to play. While unfortunate, it can be a source of a lot of frustration - and it's completely avoidable. Don't let a lack of rules become a problem for you or your parents.

2). Have a Solid Routine

Creating and keeping a routine, and asking your parents to do the same, helps everyone have a better idea of what to expect from one another. That doesn't mean you have to make a routine you hate, or do everything just the way your parents do. Instead, it means that you and your parents need to keep the routines you had before you moved back in with them, with modifications that will work for everyone involved. The less upheaval in all of your lives, the better, but some stress will naturally have to be expected. With a good routine you can reduce the level of stress that's being created.

If you need to, you can help create a routine by working with your parents to make up a calendar where everyone can see what everyone else is doing. That can include things like work and school schedules, vacations, down time where one or more of you really wants to be left alone, who does laundry on what days, and other things. Having that calendar can mean a better understanding of one another and the schedules you all have, which can make it easier for everyone to get into a routine that works for them and that also makes it convenient for other people in the household.

3). Be Flexible to Keep the Peace

Coming back to the nest - ezstorit.com

You don't want to give in to every little thing and change your life around completely when you come back to the nest, but deciding beforehand to be flexible and accommodating as much as reasonably possible may make a difference in how well everyone gets along while you're there. For example, if your parents prefer to take their shoes off in the house, there's no reason you can't do the same. They may like to do the dishes right after dinner, or run the dishwasher at a certain time. Maybe your mom vacuums every Sunday morning and you like to sleep in. There will always be areas where you can be flexible.

Remember that there is a difference between being flexible and just giving in to everything. One is a nice gesture of accommodation, and the other is a sure way to end up miserable and resentful about being forced to live your life a particular way. Instead of risking the opportunity for that kind of problem and the issues it can create when you move back in with mom and dad, decide in advance what truly matters to you and the things you're not willing to be flexible on. That can mean making some ground rules of your own, and being upfront and honest with your parents about what you need to be successful and happy.

4). Don't Bring Everything With You

Coming back to the nest - ezstorit.com

If you've been living on your own for a while, you probably have a lot of stuff. It may not all fit into your parents' home, and you don't want to cram your room and all of their extra storage space full of your things. Instead, renting a nearby self-storage unit can be just the thing to make sure you don't lose what matters but you also have space when you come back to the nest. Most of your furniture and decorative items, some of your kitchen items, and maybe even some personal items that belong to you can go into the storage unit. That way you can get to them and you know they're safe, but they're not in the way.
Your parents may want to store some things in there, too. That's especially true if they have to clean out a spare room to give you space, because they may not really have room for the things they took out of the room. Offer them space in your storage unit. That's part of being flexible, and being appreciative of them letting you move back in for a while.

5). Watch So You Don't Go Back to Old Roles

Coming back to the nest - ezstorit.com

It can be all too easy to slip back into old roles when you move back home. While some of that is probably going to happen, and that's okay, you want to avoid allowing too much of a parent-child relationship again. Don't expect mom to do everything for you like she did when you were little, or dad to give you some money when you're going somewhere with your friends. Instead, do your own thing, refuse the extra help politely, and remain as independent as possible. That will make things easier while you're there, and when you move out again at a later date.

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